Friends, Pride, Stubborness, Hurt Feelings etc

I am a person who does not easily get her feelings hurt but when they are hurt....they are hurt. I went on vacation with my very best friend & her family in July 2008. It seemed like a great idea when I suggested it to Fred. I mean going to the beach for a week is always more fun when there are other people with you. The trip started out great we did everything together. This was not my plan because I thought for sure she and her family my want to do stuff just them. Although I was glad when we did so much stuff together because I like being around them. But somewhere around that Wednesday or Thursday things started to change and I just figured we all needed our space. But when it was still suggested we go places together I just shrugged it off as my imagination or whatever. But the tension surfaced again the next day and I knew it was not my imagination. So again I decided we all needed our space. But to make a long story short the tension was so thick in the house by Friday night it needed a chain saw to cut through it and it got no better as we began to pack to go home. I am not sure what the deal was. I asked her about it about a month later but she did not want to talk about it so I told her whenever she was ready she could let me know. I am still waiting for her to let me know.

We have not spoken before because she "thought" I told one of our friends something she asked me not to tell. She did not find out she was wrong until a month or more later. So I am aware of how she is. But I thought for sure that when she found out I was in the hospital not once but twice within a month she would have at least called to see if I was OK. I don't have a lot of people in my life that have been my friend for as long as she has so that really upset me and made me start to think about our relationship.

I am well aware that it is my pride and stubbornness that has prevented me from contacting her after all this time. But I do not feel that I always have to be the bigger person in our relationship when something is wrong especially when I am unaware that I have done anything wrong.

We saw each other this weekend at a birthday party and the "brief polite" conversation we had was very strained. I am not sure if our friendship can bounce back from this.

I know as a Christian I should forgive as many time as Christ forgave but sometimes it is hard when your feelings have been hurt. But I know I need to set this straight because so many scenarios and scriptures are coming to me that indicate I need to talk to my friend. I will be praying for obedience and come out of my stubborn self and consider WWJD.

Love Ya and Thanks for reading
LA